How about a special day for we blokes?
Valentine’s Day means different things to different people. A chance to show someone you care, an opportunity to redeem oneself for previous oversights, a cash cow for businesses in tune with a mawkish market or a cruel hall of mirrors for the unhappily single. But at the very heart of this subjectivity is the omnipresent gender divide.
Of course, there are women who instinctively sneer at the concept with the anger of a cage fighter, while some guys count the days to February 14th for a chance to give and receive loving largesse. However, it’s probably still a safe bet (even here in the Inner West) to say that Valentine’s Day is mostly about the ladies and a majority of gentleman view it with varying shades of negativity.
So in the name of fairness, perhaps Valentine’s Day should alternate each year from a female centric day of saccharine sensibilities to one of macho-focused considerations.
That’s not to say the biennial Boys Valentine’s Day (BVD) always has to descend into a clichéd orgy of UFC, V8 super cars, hats with stubby holders and video games. But the tone of the day would differ from that of the girls’ version.
Dinner table conversation would revolve around his interests, whether they be cerebral (is Luke Skywalker’s light saber more effective than Han Solo’s blaster?), or practical (is Parramatta Rd better than City West Link to avoid weekend traffic). And the most important rule for her to adhere to is to eliminate excessive, unrelated questions (they are to men what one-word answers are to women). Better still if she has studied up on the nuances of playing a chip shot out of the bunker, F1 tyre changes in the rain or the West Tigers 2014 roster and can therefore converse knowledgeably.
Another key rule of BVD is that his opinion on any topic will be as lauded as Alan Jones’, even if she has more degrees than her guy has relatives who finished high school. Contrariness has no place on this special day.
And as BVD is to be a celebration for all men, perhaps he could bring along one or three of his best mates, especially if they are the relatively well-mannered ones who she can actually tolerate. Even better if it’s his girlfriend’s hot single friend with a ménage à trois curiosity who joins the party.
If that isn’t a possibility boys could just skip desert (wait a second, she’s paying…Garcon!) and scurry home to play Ron Jeremy and Jenna Jameson (or Sasha Gray, Tera Patrick, Tia Bella, Alexis Texas and Madison Ivy).
So what do you think, people? Could 2014 be the inaugural year of BVD? Then again, cynics do say that it’s Valentine’s Day every day of the year for men. Maybe that’s why we should just leave Valentine’s Day the way that it is… or maybe not.
Words: Jason Dunne, Inner West columnist and author of Everyone is Henry Miller.
For most men, the thought of buying lingerie for their partner can be daunting to say the least, so local lingerie specialists Nocturnal Designs have put together a few helpful hints and tips just in time for Valentine’s Day to make lingerie shopping easy as 1, 2, 3…
Size does matter
When the gift is intended as a surprise, we suggest checking her lingerie drawer to determine her size. Don’t just guess, find a bra that she loves and write the size down – she’s much more likely to wear it if it fits well and feels comfortable. If you’re not sure of her exact bra size but you do know her dress size, why not try nightwear or loungewear instead? From elegant silk nightdresses to super-soft camisoles, we have it all at Nocturnal, and if you keep your options open you can’t fail to find something she’ll love.
Style is important
Women who generally wear the same colour or style of bra (eg. push up/non-padded) often do so because it suits them. By following what she already wears, you’ll be sure to get her something she’ll adore.
What’s her favourite colour lingerie?
Red and black underwear can be very sexy, but if it’s not to her taste then remember that there’s plenty more to choose from with today’s range of lingerie and nightwear. Go for something that both of you will love – and if you’re not sure what she likes, why not get her a gift voucher instead so that you can both visit the store together and select something that you both like.
Help is always there
The staff at Nocturnal Designs are there to assist you make the right choice, so if you’re not sure, simply ask for some advice on what women want when it comes to lingerie.
Nocturnal Designs: Shop T22 Norton Plaza, Leichhardt. T. 9518 3355.