Righteous Rightie – 230

Righteous Rightie takes umbrage at others taking umbrage at him speaking truth to the powerless.

Dear RR – I was shocked to hear you called a racist at one of those ‘Politics in the Pub’ events that over-educated leftist onanists are so fond of. I trust this baseless slur won’t cause you to self-censor in future. Andrew, Melbourne

RR replies: As that hippie harlot Cher sung while suggestively straddling a battleship cannon back in 1989, “Words are like bullets, they wound sometimes.” Needless to say, I felt I’d been mowed down by an AK-47 when I learnt I’d been accused of racism for simply observing, “It’s high time the quadroons who pass themselves off as this nation’s Indigenes stopped making human sacrifices to imaginary rainbow snakes, dancing around like kangaroos and drunkenly raping dingoes and got a job… And not some make-work position as an academic teaching dot-painting appreciation to gormless arts undergraduates but real work mustering cattle in return for a bit of damper and a few shiny breads.”
Lord knows, I’ve used far more bracing language when canvassing what should be done with Australia’s white underclass, which doesn’t even have the common courtesy to fester out of sight in the outback. But bravely shoulder the white man’s burden by giving the darker races some sage advice about how they can conduct themselves in a more civilised fashion and the snarky bully boys and girls of the Left use it as a flimsy pretext to make outlandish and deeply hurtful accusations.
Rest assured, while I was too distressed to come into the Ciao office for several days after the charge of prejudice was first levelled at me, I have resolved not to be cowed by my politically correct critics, regardless of whether they have a touch of the tar brush or not.