Latte Leftie – 247

Latte Leftie issues a grovelling apology on behalf of this publication following its ill-advised plan to stage a festive toga party

Dear LL – I’m writing to you on behalf of a collective of colour-blind Inner West leftists dedicated to upbraiding our progressive brothers, sisters and siblings of no fixed gender identity when they engage in unconscious prejudice. It has been brought to our attention Ciao recently sent out ‘Save the date’ emails for a “Christmas toga party”! I might expect this kind of championing of race-based privilege, ethnic stereotyping and outrageous cultural appropriation from a Murdoch organ but I was appalled to discover this publication was going to treat the toga as a mere party costume. Are you unaware of the contribution of Italian migrants to the Inner West community? Do you have any idea how distressing it must be to them to have a bunch of non-Italians – some no doubt the descendants of Carthaginians, Visigoths and Vandals – flouncing around in bed sheets, engaging in the equivalent of a blackface minstrel show? Granted, I’m not of Roman ethnicity myself but when I informed my local greengrocer Mario of your plans and offered my heartfelt apologies for the marginalisation he’d been subjected to he looked at me blankly, which I can only assume meant he was left in a state of shock by your proposed Klu Klux Klanesque end-of-year festivities.
Henry, Leichhardt

LL replies:  If I may be permitted to use some Latin, in a culturally respectful manner: mea culpa, mea maxima culpa. After looking into this further, I discovered that not only were togas going to be worn but that antipasto plates were going to be served and opera arias played. Rest assured, I immediately put a stop to this orgy of bigotry and changed the party’s theme to ‘Pimps and prostitutes’, sorry, ‘Lower socio-economic status entrepreneurs and empowered sex workers.’ Hopefully, your collective can now attend in good conscience.