Latte Leftie – 255

Bliss was it on the dawn of March 29 to be alive. But to be a longtime Greens supporter was very heaven, notes Latte Leftie.

Dear LLNow the Inner West has gone Green can we look forward to our local ’hood becoming even more fabulously bohemian, progressive and exclusive? Penny, Newtown 

LL replies: I think the only sensible analogy that can be drawn to the ALP surrendering its erstwhile inner city heartland to the Greens is the Democrats losing the South to the Republicans. With such a seismic political shift we can expect some changes around these parts and I’m not just talking about dispensaries being set up along King and Darling Streets to provide free drugs to anyone over the age of five who requests them, all our roads being ripped up and converted into cycle paths, homosexual intercourse moving from grotty public toilets onto busy thoroughfares, the forced closure of all local fast-food and Max Brenner outlets, locals finally having the power to decide which cashed-up bogans come into the Inner West and the circumstances in which they arrive, and crushingly restrictive development regulations that will continue to ensure massive capital gains for existing property owners. No, the real change will be the Labor Party finally having to decide whether it wants to continuing pandering to the dregs of the reactionary lumpenproletariat and compete with Reclaim Australia and the Jacqui Lambie Network for the votes of those who believe a halal tax has been placed on their Jim Beam and Coke premix to fund the roll-out of Sharia law in Australia, or take a leaf out the Greens book and pursue the cream of the visionary section of the upper-middle class by advocating for an open-door refugee policy, a punishing carbon
tax and the immediate imprisonment of all hate
media columnists.