Righteous Rightie – 214

Dear LL –

Are you as delighted as I am to see Bob Carr outflanking the conservatives on the right, just like in the good old days of his glorious premiership? It seems that with the departure of the bald hippy Garrett and that hairy-arsed feminazi Gillard, the grand old man of the NSW Right is belatedly getting his chance to shine again. Do you think he would be up for commandeering a naval boat and personally machine gunning some swarthy Iranian kiddies if it resulted in a glowing editorial in the Daily Terror and a thumbs up from Alan Jones?

Ray, Summer Hill 

LL replies –

I think anyone who lived in New South Wales at any point from 1995-2005 knows the answer to that one, Ray! Though I’ve never had much time for those degenerates on the Communist side of the political fence, I must confess a begrudging admiration for Carr’s anarcho-capitalist approach to infrastructure investment, his shameless propensity to bang the law and order drum, his willingness to spy on his party for the CIA, his glee in reducing workers compensation payments to malingering members of the proletariat, and his passion for exposing the mollycoddled Australian literati to the globalised rigours of the Dan Brown-loving free market.

Frankly, if the ALP had a few more sensible moderates like him, willing to let News Ltd dictate their policy direction and highly skilled at dog whistling in order to pander to marginal seat bogans mainstream Australians, it might not be in its present calamitous state. One can only hope Mr Carr will be called upon to rebuild Labor after its imminent crushing defeat. That way if the socialists ever do occupy the treasury benches again, it will at least be under the leadership of someone well to the right of Cory Bernardi.