Righteous Rightie – 232

Righteous Rightie rejoices in the Australian people having the sense to realise peasants like them shouldn’t be head of state

Dear RR –
If memory serves, the treasonous Australian Republic Movement held its referendum night wake at Balmain Town Hall 15 years ago. How pleased are you to see the Australian people, including not a few Inner Westies of swarthy ethnic heritage, in a collective national swoon over William, Kate and gorgeous George?
David, Paddington


RR replies:
I shudder to think that if the Republicans had succeeded in their evil aims this nation would now be ruled by President Ray Martin. Frankly, the periodic election of Labor governments is evidence enough the Australian electorate can’t be trusted with the small amount of power it does possess. It’s some small consolation that should they be so idiotic as to elect an anarcho-socialist like Gough Whitlam again the Monarch, or their local representative, would be able to step in and facilitate the immediate election of a conservative government, should Rupert Murdoch be otherwise engaged.

Give the Australian people the choice of watching Downton Abbey or that cat-murdering communist Malcolm Turnbull on Q&A and which do you think they would choose? Give them the option of waving flags at a visiting royal while squealing like schoolgirls, or quaffing kale juice while discussing constitutional reform with a collective of bien pensant, pseudo-intellectual poseurs and which would they prefer? Give then the choice of being called Sir, Dame or Lord after making an appropriately sized donation to the Liberal Party or receiving one of those every-kiddie-wins-a-prize Orders of Australia handed out like confetti to do-gooding social workers and homosexual poetasters and… well you get the idea.

We can all thank God that however idiotic the common people may be, they nonetheless have sufficient humility to understand how vastly inferior they are to English aristocrats.

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