Latte Leftie reassures nervous nellies that the mindless masses can be encouraged to vote as their social betters instruct them to
Dear LL – Given the lower order’s penchant for indulging their most reactionary impulses whenever they’re gifted the opportunity to ‘have their say’, I’m beginning to worry that the plebiscite may not be the laydown misère as predicted. I realise 115 per cent of Australians say they approve of man-on-man marriage, but I’m wondering if the poll data is skewed — possibly by respondents’ (inexplicable) apprehension that expressing an inappropriate view will result in a frenzied mob of tolerance-loving leftists doing everything possible to destroy their career and ruin their lives. I’ve got a sneaking suspicion that the outer-suburban bogans who watch Monday night sportsball instead of Q&A are the kind of people who’ll mumble the correct opinions when challenged, nod whenever anybody portentously declares ‘love is love’, but then go and gleefully kick we much-maligned ‘inner city elites’ in the nuts in the privacy of the ballot box (or post office, as the case may be).
LL replies: Indeed! At the time of writing, the leading voices for same-sex nuptials are Alan Joyce and Dr Kerryn Phelps. Both impressive individuals, I can assure you. However, I do wonder how much appeal an icily patrician AMA president and union-busting, job-cutting CEO are going to have to Joe and Joanne Sixpack. I can only hope that the knockabout David Marr can belatedly be appointed the sole spokeshuman for the equal marriage cause. I’m sure his larrikin wit and man-of-the-people manner would win over backsliders in drinking taverns, shopping malls and sportsball ovals across this wide, homophobic land.