Latte Leftie #310

Latte Leftie addresses the allegations swirling on social media that he’s the Rolf Harris of leftist commentators

Dear LL – You can imagine my garment-rending distress upon discovering that, despite the endless boasts about being a male feminist, you’re capable of exactly the same sort of beastly behaviour as the rest of your gender. (Transmasculine, intersex, pangender, polygender, gender questioning, non-binary and two-spirit men excluded, of course. Though, frankly, I’m beginning to have doubts about even them.) When will you stop dissembling and address the grave charges against you? That in 1962 you cast “a long, longing glance” at Ruth Cracknell’s cleavage while reviewing one of her plays. That in 1965 your sense of male entitlement led you to ask your new bride, “So, how about it, baby?” on your wedding night. And that as late as 1971 you were making comments such as, “Groovy outfit, foxy lady,” to newsroom colleagues.     

Kevin, Leichhardt                    

LL replies: It’s no excuse, but I came of age in an era when, regrettably, unerringly just feminists weren’t around to rigorously police male-female interactions and ensure any man whose behaviour was in any way ham-fisted had his career destroyed and life ruined pour encourager les autres. I now understand just how unspeakable my depredations were. I have returned to work at Ciao on a probationary basis on the condition I will be monitored by celibacy-chaperone. He will zap me with a cattle prod should I so much as look in the direction of the opposite sex. Or even if he merely suspects I’m thinking an inappropriate thought. By the way, while I’ve never had and have no current interest in romantic encounters with men, I’m henceforth choosing to live as a gay man.