Latte Leftie – 234

It is Latte Leftie’s melancholy duty to pour a bucket of cold water over claims of an heroic uprising of the oppressed masses.

Dear LL – Are you as delighted as I am that the Australian people have finally risen up against the reactionary Abbott forces? Who could have imagined back on that dark night of September 7 last year that the Mad Monk would be a one-term PM? Or possibly even a half-term PM rolled by (the far more palatable) Malcolm Turnbull? William, Petersham.

LL replies: I can only assume from the naïve characterisation of your compatriots that you’re too young to have experienced the heartbreakingly interminable Howard era. So by all means enjoy a few weeks of unfurling banners on Q&A and wagging uni to march in the streets, Billy Boy, but when push comes to shove expect the currently bleating lower orders to grasp their ankles and beg to be reamed by the Conservatives at election after election.
That old-age pensioner working for a sex line to keep cans of Pal on the dinner table? You can bet she helped vote Abbott into the Lodge (is there anyone over the age of 50 who doesn’t vote Tory?) and will continue to do so.
That truck driver ringing up Ray Hadley to bitch about having to pay an extra cent a litre for his petrol? Show him a few images of boatpeople being tortured by the Khmer Rouge in Cambodia and he’ll have a smile on his dial soon enough.
That malingerer whining about being forced off the disability pension? Remind him that Julia Gillard had the unmitigated gall to put a price on carbon that was almost as much as the government assistance provided to over-compensate for it. Take it from me, kid, Abbott will be in power until you’re old enough to qualify for the dole.