Bay Bitch 255

There they are the familiar pair – the shiny lycra clad muscular one, jogging on the spot waiting impatiently for her gasping bay partner, who is trying her very best to simulate the pace and style of her hyper counterpart. At best it could be called ‘dogged determination’, but realistically is just ‘sadly pathetic’.

The try hard forces a smile as she approaches Speed Freak, who is continuing to jog on the spot just to demonstrate her impressive level of fitness. Slow Coach feels relieved that she has caught up and thinks she will have at least one second of respite to catch her breath, but Speed Freak starts off again at even a more frantic pace seemingly unaware of Slow Coach’s plight.

Not only has the pace picked up, but Speed Freak is now directing questions to her that she is required to answer. Slow Coach debates whether to respond and die or breathe. Luckily, at this tricky moment Speed Freak starts speaking into her blue tooth about some unexpected promotion, which allows the now bedraggled desperate a relief from the hideous competition of bay life.